I hate you to hell, I hate you to eternity , I hate you to the grave.
Everythings so crap at the moment, I feel so lonely and sad, and I just want to go away, away, far far away. There is noting here, NOTHING IN THIS LIFE. Its all a dumb dumb DUMB pretence, wish it would end. Wish I could end. SCrew YOU.
Monday, 14 July 2008
Saturday, 12 July 2008
The Weeks of Ups and Downs
Well, its been a tumultuous few weeks - so many feelings - powerful feelings of despair and exasperation to longing and dejection.
A death of a baby, it was cute. I felt a little sad. Poor parents.
Attending IslamExpo. Ugh, it must be done again tomorrow. i get so frikin piced off at people who come and steal n grab freebies unashamedly from your stall. Seriously people are not worth the effort. Muslims are just clones. They just parrot on and on. And as a separate matter, very few of us can actually defend our faith, we get flustered as soon as someone asks why we are covering our head etc. Idiots man.
I'm reading a really nice tale called The Rock of Tanios (its by Amin Malouf). Its translated from Frenc which makes a bit fiddle to read, but is a intriguing post-colonial plot set in Lebanon, which juicy tales of Emirs and peasants romantic and political adventures. Would have been perfect to have read in Alhamra.
Oh Granada how I miss you so. You perfect cobbles and your winding roads. Your white washed walls and strangers passing by. Sigh.
Also have had famliy over for a few weeks. Which Always brings out the worst in me - I hate people - I just am calm and relaxed on my own - I dont need people with their opinions and issues messing up my head. Go away now. So much pressure. No wonder living in extended families of any kind isn't encouraged - I cant think of anything worse for mental health. For about a week or so I was a monster and have since calmed down a little, but only as a result of strict distancing.
Also work is a nightmare, its so much, so much to do, so much pressure, so many expectations, so much to prove. I've become a person who lives to work rather than works to live. And STILL people who I know very well refuse to heed the call of FT. Why are they so stubborn???? How more can I explain to them? Well on your own consciennce be it - if you are pretty sure (which you can be) that buying coffee from certain companies etc funds child labour, appalling working conditions, doesn't even let the producer meet his Production costs, doesnt allow the children of the people who grow ur food go to school and have a future then why do you still buy it???? SUrely this means YOU are complicit in keeping individuals in the developing world poor enough so as not be able to acccess clean water, medicine or adequate shelter. ON your head be it and may you answer for it on the Day of Judgment. Though i pray Allah guides us on the right path and to do good and forgives us for our sins.
I think I would make a good army commander. Need discipline.
GRR.
A death of a baby, it was cute. I felt a little sad. Poor parents.
Attending IslamExpo. Ugh, it must be done again tomorrow. i get so frikin piced off at people who come and steal n grab freebies unashamedly from your stall. Seriously people are not worth the effort. Muslims are just clones. They just parrot on and on. And as a separate matter, very few of us can actually defend our faith, we get flustered as soon as someone asks why we are covering our head etc. Idiots man.
I'm reading a really nice tale called The Rock of Tanios (its by Amin Malouf). Its translated from Frenc which makes a bit fiddle to read, but is a intriguing post-colonial plot set in Lebanon, which juicy tales of Emirs and peasants romantic and political adventures. Would have been perfect to have read in Alhamra.
Oh Granada how I miss you so. You perfect cobbles and your winding roads. Your white washed walls and strangers passing by. Sigh.
Also have had famliy over for a few weeks. Which Always brings out the worst in me - I hate people - I just am calm and relaxed on my own - I dont need people with their opinions and issues messing up my head. Go away now. So much pressure. No wonder living in extended families of any kind isn't encouraged - I cant think of anything worse for mental health. For about a week or so I was a monster and have since calmed down a little, but only as a result of strict distancing.
Also work is a nightmare, its so much, so much to do, so much pressure, so many expectations, so much to prove. I've become a person who lives to work rather than works to live. And STILL people who I know very well refuse to heed the call of FT. Why are they so stubborn???? How more can I explain to them? Well on your own consciennce be it - if you are pretty sure (which you can be) that buying coffee from certain companies etc funds child labour, appalling working conditions, doesn't even let the producer meet his Production costs, doesnt allow the children of the people who grow ur food go to school and have a future then why do you still buy it???? SUrely this means YOU are complicit in keeping individuals in the developing world poor enough so as not be able to acccess clean water, medicine or adequate shelter. ON your head be it and may you answer for it on the Day of Judgment. Though i pray Allah guides us on the right path and to do good and forgives us for our sins.
I think I would make a good army commander. Need discipline.
GRR.
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