scared

ugh hel bound

scared reading book - We need to talk about Kevin. its about a mother who detests her child, well the first third i read is anyway. is he innately evil/ the way she rights about him makes me believe her tho she sounds like a selfish cold hearted b**** too. omg what if im like tht. dont think i will inshallah but i get so so so so so annoyed with some kids. i have developed a hatred of the 6 yr old at the momemnt. ignored it for 3 days. feel bad. dont care. whot if my child turns into a murderer too? hope i bond. hpe it doesnt cry Too much. hope i cn earn its respect. hope i cn be a good Muslim parent.

where is he? its 22.13 n he's not back from work. eugh so tired. work is so draining. so tiring. love it but i hate it. so fat i hate it it.

room is being deep cleaned. feels nice. need new cupboards and perhaps a bed and perhaps get rid of this massive bookshelf but how to convinve him of tht?