is there a difference between being clinically depressed and just being a depressive personality. i dont think i will ever be happy, am capable of a real smile at all. ever. iv been happy at times but thats usually due to something special and temporary like a holiday opportunity or doing something haram. it was just fleeting endorphins. and now not eanything makes me happy, or makes me desire - nothing material, no person, no activity, nothing. there is nothing. nothingness spans out and the world is bleak and depressing and everything is futile and nothing is worth anything. i still flinch if i see a parent beating their child etc but iv lost the enthusiasm to join a Movement, or to convinve people of Truths. die lonely sad and then be punished in the grave and then to hell.