i am a loser

i am a loser

Missing Faith

My Islam has been left to rot. The best way to stay on top of domestic cleanliness is daily tidying away, otherwise you end up with a pile of clothes on the back of a chair. In the same way Islam condones ..what the F is that word... ah yes Steadfastness. Small regular acts help retain taqwa - consciousness of Allah. So I've ended up with a rotting pile of black filth on my heart, which no amount of Vanish or Mr Muscle is able to shift. ...OK I lie about the Mr Muscle and Vanish, I've barely made any effort to scrub away. Seems like such hard work. It's like I've built up an aversion to Muslims (and consequently (mistakenly) equated it to Islam). I'm so tired of salafis, stuck up their own arses, going on and on about how beautiful dawah is, when you can blatantly tell they get off on chastising others and dismissing them to hell. Ugh, I'm so prickly even Islam can't get to me, let alone other people. I think I'm turning away from Islam because what its telling me to do is Difficult to do, may require Struggle *(shock horror - effort?! Don't use that word much these days)* Unlike the fluffy Christian Just Believe preaching, Islam is requiring me to put some effort in. It tells me it has/is the solution but I need to work towards it. I know all the teachings yes, "Take a step towards Allah and He will come to you at speed" (paraphrased qudsi hadith) etc etc but I can't. I'm too weak a servant.

f$$K you you mOTHerFuC££ers